There I was sitting in front of that big screen with two girls on either side of me like they were afraid I might run, I do recall trying to get up, to flee but the drug had me. Three of them giggled but the third was telling me I needed to relax and look into the TV. It was the voice of an unwanted master about to be.
That was the last clear memory I had. The drug I am sure I was given is known to prevent long term memories. There is even a standing travel alert for men because the drug is so effective on us. It is very much unlike the date rape drugs one hears on the evening news. This drug makes a man compliant but lets him function as though everything was normal. It prevents short term memory from becoming long term memory so he can remember where he hid his keys but his short term memory of what happened under the drug, vanishes. It looks like he is on a date and having a good time but he is completely under the control of the woman that drugged him. He appears self determined but he is not. Men visiting some countries are encouraged to use some means of limiting access to his own money. One guy had a $5,000 daily limit, he was just kept doped up for a month until his personal account was drained. He gave everything he owned away and when he regained his senses and demanded to know why the hotel and bank allowed that. The answer was because he had insisted.
Almost like an invasion of "The Body Snatchers", these men where not acting out of the ordinary, they just had a women with them that could make them give up and use any information including bank account numbers. The odd thing was these men could be compelled to remember numbers they purposely did not commit to memory and yet forget the whole thing. They would wake up not knowing they were broke. Instead of showing any signs of resistance the men were compelled to be helpful. Spies were known to offer up secrets not even asked of them when administered this drug. Then be released not knowing they had been captured and spilled the beans. Of course being so effective, it was banned by International Treaty.
I should not be able to remember what I do and subsequent hypnosis should not have been able to recover what it did. Many women and very few men have a bi-spherical wiring. It is a way the brain passes information between the two hemispheres of the brain. While attending the University later it was discovered I do. I believe that is why I was haunted for years with shadows of memories from what was about to happen at that time. On the other hand as Scrooge said, maybe it was something I ate...
Everything turned grey and hazy.... The first thing I recall is Suzy running out of the house crying. I wanted to ask her to come back but didn't understand why or what was going on and was simply unable to follow-up on that impulse. If Suzy ever reads this, I would like her to know I loved her and I wished she had stayed. She might have not been able to protect me but at least I would have made her a great slave. She is one of those a man could trust with unlimited power over him. Certainly the only one there that night.
Next was the folks arriving home, I believe I was rushed out of the house to the guest house. Seems I was alone in restraints of some kind. I also recall eating pizza. I don't know if the parents knew I was there and alone. They must have seen my motorcycle. Drifting on a fog.
Don't know how much time has past. I think it is morning but still dark, I think I am tied to a bed. A light comes on and I am covered with a plaid blanket or was that a kilt? Rory's family is highlanders. Am I wearing a kilt? I remember Kathy standing looking lost her eyes about level with mine. Sue and Rory were sort of steading her around. I think she is acting odd, drifting too but I am OK, I am ok aren't I? Then Rory says I am just a jittery groom. I say huh? They tell me its my wedding night and I have to consummate the marriage! I remember saying No Way! I barely knew Kathy. She was sweet but she wore too much make-up. She was so beautiful, why did she have to wear paint? My thoughts were out of control. Drifting again, hazy and grey, Sue and Rory talking and some expletives about using her wedding dress were coming out of Rory. I then remember being led to some sort of alter and I think it was Sue that did a wedding ceremony. I married Kathy and then the girls were telling me I had to do my manly duty again. I was confused but she was so beautiful there in her (Rory's?) wedding gown.
I rebelled what I could and I felt embarrassed. I felt we needed to be alone and must have said so because heard one of them say, no, no we are her brides maids and we come along to assist her. Huh? That doesn't seem right. Again that voice telling me they had younger brothers and I had nothing they hadn't already seen. I am not going to describe it any farther but I now have to end my claim of virginity with "I think." I still am hoping it was just a terrible joke played on me. It is revolting whether it actually happened or was implanted as a meme in worst possible taste. I want to believe nothing happened but a few therapists tell me I am in denial! I have never seen a woman in the raw, I don't go in for porn and yet burned into my mind are images of an anatomy, I should not know. Oh I wish this was a nightmare from something I ate or the sugar coma from the fasting and punch.
Was Kathy drugged? I did have flash backs of resentment from the start believing she was in control. Still I don't know... She did become my Prom Date and we did care for each other. I had just lost my best friend and the Love of my Life after over twelve years of her enchantment. I was eager to be back under a Ladies ownership and I think Kathy could have been a Lady and My Lady. I also think she wanted to marry me then and there but being noble I said I did too but lets go to college and then commit if it is right. She never returned and not one of our mutual friends nor the reunion committee knew what happened to her and her family. Twenty years later we learn she became a nun in College..
Kathy won't return my Emails now that friends sent me her address. A lot of them felt we would have made a good couple. I am not sure, I expect more personal integrity but maybe her guilty conscience forced her to do what she did or maybe like me she was drugged and spent years with night terrors and waking up screaming without ever knowing why. The drug targets the male brain but a few women are susceptible just as a few men aren't. Let me clarify that "as susceptible." because there are side effects too! I wish I could have two hours alone with Kathy and no recriminations. No matter how culpable she may be, I believe she was a victim too. I feel the only way it will ever be right is with a hug between both of us.
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