My First Nightmare!

There I was sitting in front of that big screen with two girls on either side of me like they were afraid I might run, I do recall trying to get up, to flee but the drug had me. Three of them giggled but the third was telling me I needed to relax and look into the TV. It was the voice of an unwanted master about to be.

That was the last clear memory I had. The drug I am sure I was given is known to prevent long term memories. There is even a standing travel alert for men because the drug is so effective on us. It is very much unlike the date rape drugs one hears on the evening news. This drug makes a man compliant but lets him function as though everything was normal. It prevents short term memory from becoming long term memory so he can remember where he hid his keys but his short term memory of what happened under the drug, vanishes. It looks like he is on a date and having a good time but he is completely under the control of the woman that drugged him. He appears self determined but he is not. Men visiting some countries are encouraged to use some means of limiting access to his own money. One guy had a $5,000 daily limit, he was just kept doped up for a month until his personal account was drained. He gave everything he owned away and when he regained his senses and demanded to know why the hotel and bank allowed that. The answer was because he had insisted.

Almost like an invasion of "The Body Snatchers", these men where not acting out of the ordinary, they just had a women with them that could make them give up and use any information including bank account numbers. The odd thing was these men could be compelled to remember numbers they purposely did not commit to memory and yet forget the whole thing. They would wake up not knowing they were broke. Instead of showing any signs of resistance the men were compelled to be helpful. Spies were known to offer up secrets not even asked of them when administered this drug. Then be released not knowing they had been captured and spilled the beans. Of course being so effective, it was banned by International Treaty.

I should not be able to remember what I do and subsequent hypnosis should not have been able to recover what it did. Many women and very few men have a bi-spherical wiring. It is a way the brain passes information between the two hemispheres of the brain. While attending the University later it was discovered I do. I believe that is why I was haunted for years with shadows of memories from what was about to happen at that time. On the other hand as Scrooge said, maybe it was something I ate...

Everything turned grey and hazy.... The first thing  I recall is Suzy running out of the house crying. I wanted to ask her to come back but didn't understand why or what was going on and was simply unable to follow-up on that impulse. If Suzy ever reads this, I would like her to know I loved her and I wished she had stayed. She might have not been able to protect me but at least I would have made her a great slave. She is one of those a man could trust with unlimited power over him. Certainly the only one there that night.

Next was the folks arriving home, I believe I was rushed out of the house to the guest house. Seems I was alone in restraints of some kind. I also recall eating pizza. I don't know if the parents knew I was there and alone. They must have seen my motorcycle. Drifting on a fog.

Don't know how much time has past. I think it is morning but still dark, I think I am tied to a bed. A light comes on and I am covered with a plaid blanket or was that a kilt? Rory's family is highlanders. Am I wearing a kilt? I remember Kathy standing looking lost her eyes about level with mine. Sue and Rory were sort of steading her around. I think she is acting odd, drifting too but I am OK, I am ok aren't I? Then Rory says I am just a jittery groom. I say huh? They tell me its my wedding night and I have to consummate the marriage! I remember saying No Way! I barely knew Kathy. She was sweet but she wore too much make-up. She was so beautiful, why did she have to wear paint? My thoughts were out of control. Drifting again, hazy and grey, Sue and Rory talking and some expletives about using her wedding dress were coming out of Rory. I then remember being led to some sort of alter and I think it was Sue that did a wedding ceremony. I married Kathy and then the girls were telling me I had to do my manly duty again. I was confused but she was so beautiful there in her (Rory's?) wedding gown.

I rebelled what I could and I felt embarrassed. I felt we needed to be alone and must have said so because heard one of them say, no, no we are her brides maids and we come along to assist her. Huh? That doesn't seem right. Again that voice telling me they had younger brothers and I had nothing they hadn't already seen. I am not going to describe it any farther but I now have to end my claim of virginity with "I think." I still am hoping it was just a terrible joke played on me. It is revolting whether it actually happened or was implanted as a meme in worst possible taste. I want to believe nothing happened but a few therapists tell me I am in denial! I have never seen a woman in the raw, I don't go in for porn and yet burned into my mind are images of an anatomy, I should not know. Oh I wish this was a nightmare from something I ate or the sugar coma from the fasting and punch.

Was Kathy drugged? I did have flash backs of resentment from the start believing she was in control. Still I don't know... She did become my Prom Date and we did care for each other. I had just lost my best friend and the Love of my Life after over twelve years of her enchantment. I was eager to be back under a Ladies ownership and I think Kathy could have been a Lady and My Lady. I also think she wanted to marry me then and there but being noble I said I did too but lets go to college and then commit if it is right. She never returned and not one of our mutual friends nor the reunion committee knew what happened to her and her family. Twenty years later we learn she became a nun in College..

Kathy won't return my Emails now that friends sent me her address. A lot of them felt we would have made a good couple. I am not sure, I expect more personal integrity but maybe her guilty conscience forced her to do what she did or maybe like me she was drugged and spent years with night terrors and waking up screaming without ever knowing why. The drug targets the male brain but a few women are susceptible just as a few men aren't. Let me clarify that "as susceptible." because there are side effects too! I wish I could have two hours alone with Kathy and no recriminations. No matter how culpable she may be, I believe she was a victim too. I feel the only way it will ever be right is with a hug between both of us.

Scientific Way for a Woman to Own a Man.

From age four to age seventeen, I was owned by a FemDom girl. More recently it had became obvious from the taunting hints of her mother, that this was planned. The mom had done some exotic dancing and was herself a bit of a black sheep from a family whose men were often out of control. She married a half way decent family man but one that may have had a wondering eye. You know those things a little kid hears spoken by women when the men are outside or away. Absolutely no doubts do I have that they adopted methods to control the larger and physically stronger men. I was sort of razzed about this by some of them like her mom. She definitely believed men should be owned and controlled by women. I surprised them one time when I peeked around the corner and asked if that meant me too. One of them picked me up and said something like that especially meant me as I was just so cute and precious....

Up until that night of the Science Fair Party, that was how it was for me. My FemDom ownership included safety and protection by the Girls. Antoinette and her friends even took care of some bullies for me. Actually they were my friends but did like what they saw happening to me. I had without a doubt been their leader and now I was a pet to a party of girls. Important,.... there was never a sissy moment, just the opposite. That feminization and sissy stuff is all written into the play by sodomites. Then women are never in charge, and they are too dumb to know it. Unfortunately owning a man is too easy even for dumb, dumb women. Hey we got to demand a better lady to surrender to... 80) Yeah FemDom, send us your women that won't share their power with other men, those convinced that all men are equal and all women are their masters and some even their Wives and Mistresses.

Note my order of hierarchy? It really isn't mine. The FemDom I was raised with was about all women being master-esses, then a mate was chosen and he was her slave. If she liked him, he was forced to propose in as romantic a scene she could think of. Of course he is far beyond the point of consent by this time. Then he is enslaved legally by the bonds of matrimony (means Her property BTW) and now she is his Wife and Master but their is one more element left. She must consummate their marriage by taking him. It would probably by mutual choice at this point but from then on, he has got to know that she can initiate and take him anytime she wants, She is now supremely his Wife and Mistress. BTW: I would add I don't like to demean the word wife. Wife can't be a man no matter how noble his is and it carries with it the authority and legal respect only a Mistress is worthy of. That is the Real Femdom. A relationship of F/m regularly enforced and kept fidel. Remember, Female control of men was to reflect a superior form of matrimony that makes it impossible for the husband to cheat and because of their superiority, women never would and that is why they had a right to enforce chastity, actually fidelity upon the man.

Little did I know I was being delivered into the hands of four Cougars, two of which acted as a FemDom wannabees with no responsibility. FemDom was about women empowered to manage men for the man's own good and his and her betterment. AND of course all the benefits women would reap by the capture and surrender of these men. FemDom was first written about by the Greeks where the Wives used their femininity to enslave their men and take them off the battlefield where they had been fighting over the honor of a flousy that enjoyed watching men die pointlessly for her honor she didn't have. It was for our own good. But now at least two took charge and they were the wrong two.

I knocked on the door, several times and it finally opened. There stood high school senior and hostess, Rory with a "cat ate the mouse grin" and immediately the hair stood up on the back of my neck. I didn't like Rory, something was just... well, sadistically wrong with her. I am not getting into depth on the characters in this blog. The purpose is to explain what happened or how I believe it did happen, where my consent to FemDom Hypnosis ended and some of my feelings about that.

I was invited in to the manor and passing through the foyer, I followed to a dining nook with a bowl of punch on the table. I was starved, if you had read, I was participating in a "Science Fair" project involving fasting. I now figure I was the only one that had. I don't drink punch but she hands me this plastic cup she had just filled and says take it. I say no thanks, I don't drink punch but she insists. Its Hawaiian Punch, it will really knock you out but its not too sweet, it was.... I mean she made a point of dipping it just for me and this was before date rape drugs and all. My mine wasn't really thinking about that, but I don't imbibe even as an adult so if she dipped it, either it was safe or everybody was going to get drunk, right???

As I was standing there reluctant to take the cup of "Hawaiian Punch" I was getting edgy, something was just not right!!! Where are the others? I asked. Oh the girls are all here and in the Entertainment room. Little did I know for the next twenty some hours, I was going to be the entertainment. I said Girls, where are the guys? Oh you are the first one, if they are late they will have to wait a little longer to eat. Say this punch is really sweet, won't that skew the fasting results, Oh this is a protein fast so the sugar won't affect it that much. I now know that after fasting, that a dose of sugar is the last thing you want. It can almost knock you right out and it will cause you to become receptive to hypnosis. I was had and set up so well and it wasn't by any means just the sugary ending to a fast.

Uh where is everybody? I just told you the Gir.... I mean everybody else, where is your brothers and your parents. Mr...(Physics Instructor) told my parents this was a chaperoned event. I have decided only a Mistress should be allowed to schedule a man's events... Where's your parents? Where are your brothers? Oh my brothers had a merit badge outing, they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon and Mom and dad went out for Pizza! Wait! wait a moment! I thought we were going to have the pizza party tomorrow evening??? Oh we are but pizza is also allowed for the testing. You aren't one of those that will stick up their nose to pizza two night in a row are you? Well No, no I like pizza anytime I can get it including cold for breakfast. Oh, that's my good boy and grabs me by the arm like I was a boyfriend.

We entered the entertainment room and I was immediately greeted by the other three senior girls. What a warm reception. I was for a moment, glad the other guys hadn't arrived yet. Odd it seemed that these four older girls would make a fuss over me though. I was a brainy, nerdy type that happened to be a football tackle. I have to go back to the possibility the biology teacher had noticed I was a somnambulist. After I lost Antoinette, merely the sense of loss and uninvited memory of her charms would send me into trance. It was an involuntary, self-reinforcing hypnotic suggestion I found myself obedient to except it wasn't supposed to happen unless I was alone and safe.

Antoinette did care for me and watch out for me. About the only selfish thing she did was turn me into her "Pony Boy" and "Puppy Boy" I know I wasn't supposed to remember and I don't much about being a puppy. I do have a lot of memories about being a pony and it was so open when I was younger. She like to play "ponies" with the other girls and at school so playing that way seemed cute to the adults. What they didn't know, that right there under their noses, I didn't have a choice. They didn't know, except for her mom that is, that when she whispered in my ear, it wasn't secrets, it was commands I had to obey. There I was in front of adults and could not cry for help. But then I don't really remember wanting any either. Later she would ride me and that was fine too. She would be on my back and bend over whispering commands in my ear, commands by then I was eager to hear. She never ever took a crop to me, thankfully.

Sit down right here and finish your punch! Rory placed me between two rows of girls right in the center of this huge TV (for that era). It was one of the new 36" TVs, illegal to own in the U.S. I was into video, even had my own business video taping and now I was looking at stuff I had been drooling over at a trade show only two weeks before. The TV and the Sony Super Beta Max 1" were not due for import licensing until over a year away, and here one of each sat in this big home.

Two girls on my left, two girls on my right, Rory has sat herself down to after turning on the tv and started a tape playing. Rory said I have some things to get ready but I want to see how you do with this little contest. Now Rick, we know you a really sharp so as the tape starts lets see how quickly you notice something. It a secret so I am not going to give it away but lets see if you are as sharp as the girls here and see how long it takes (noted the girls giggle). Now Rick you see a triangle being drawn on the screen one leg at a time. Notice how they don't connect back up but draw another triangle on top again and again. Rick, keep your focused on the center to get the answer and a surprise. Concentrate concentrate and relax, don't get distracted or you'll lose it, yes just concentrate on the center of the triangle and notice how the drawing is beginning to look like a tunnel. You got to focus on the center of that tunnel to see what you are looking for. the tunnel gets deeper and is starting to change colors as it spirals around, the flashing colors are to distract you and make you miss so concentrate and you will see it, concentrate as the tunnel spiraling around and around drawing you in to keep you from seeing it so you have got to go deeper and deeper as the tunnel draws you in.

Ok now... I know this is a pretty effective induction and for me it was a great setup and capture through covert hypnosis. I would still like to find that tape. Now I probably wouldn't be impressed but then it was the beginning of computer animation. The triangles were vector drawings and probably to much effort to make a spiral, especially an infinity spiral as this tunnel on the screen was. One more thing, I was feeling slightly dizzy as I sat down. I would figure it is from all that starving I had done. Subsequent recovered memories yield a big blank also. I spent years trying to figure out what happened. I was sure I had to have been drugged. This was before the roofies and steroids that allowed date rape. These new drugs work on somewhat passive girls but I read with much less success on boys. On the other hand there is a drug, common among the rich in those days that if anything works best on men, better than anything else on women. These people with their illegal electronics could have obtained this male programming drug in the same country, the same day as the TV.

Keep in mind most of my life, I had been under hypnosis and post hypnotic commands and didn't even know what they were. I was sixteen before I saw some B&W releases that had been too tawdry to release on TV. There was a show about women being mind controlled to go breed with aliens and there were devices implanted in brains that made people do what the electronics commanded and then there was the "Woman in Green". First movie I saw with a believable induction. Had it not been for a commercial break, I might have tried to find a balcony to step off of. I was so glad I was alone at the time. What if my parents or my sister and her friends caught me? When I could I snapped off the TV and went and cleaned up. If it hadn't been so frightening as she misused her power, or for the commercial interruption I might have been stuck there for the rest of the day. I was struck in awe at the power a woman had over me and that was just TV. I was also terrified that for the first time, I could now conceive a woman would deny her maternal instincts and actually use her power to harm. For the next decade or two, I would have to turn that show off everytime it came on. Now it is a ho hum bore, I know it can't happen....except maybe for the drugs. Different drugs but still illegal and unusual drugs that must have been in my punch....

Science Fair FemDom Hypnosis Party

I am 17, my Fiancee/Owner is gone and she left me in some kind of hypnotic chastity. It doesn't matter to me that I am exclusively hers, I am not interested in living so what do I care! I have never dated and had to hide when our school had Sadie Hawkins Dances. Now I was free! Well sort of, and didn't care.  I would be graduating in a few months but instead of going to get married and then on to UTA to be an astronomer (yeah she liked that idea, maybe put it my head), I was lost....

About a month and a half later, this cute little bottom wiggled in my face. What??, was that deliberate? It was a beautiful bottom to go along with the rest. At the time I thought she had a mind even better. Better until I saw her pull the same stunt trying to wheedle an "A" out of our physics teacher. That wiggle and phony flirt got her nowhere and I was proud to see him resist. I was ensnared and enslaved by the girls and her at that point so his resistance was hope. Apparently it worked with so many before because she was our class valedictorian. One of the dumbest amoral tramps to gloss our campus. She didn't enslave me but she lead me to the situation that did. By the time I knew what she was, I had already been drugged and taken again.

What happened is again hard to believe and also involved the same teacher. Those already clued in saw how susceptible I became after another trauma and now my true Love was gone and buried. I was moping around as the lab assistant in the high school physics department and working on my science fair project when my instructor comes up and asked if I could help another student with hers. He told me she would be there in a few minutes but he said that my participation had been approved and welcomed by all the parents involved. He had even called my parents without telling me. I can see people were concerned because if I had stepped off a curb and got run over by a bus, well I didn't care, that happened to a girl I knew eight years earlier. I saw it happen, It wouldn't have bothered me at all, if I went in an instant like she did.

So this is a Science Fair participatory project.  When Rory arrived she said it was a joint venture project to collect data for Harvard. It didn't sound appealing at all. I was supposed to fast for a week and then attend an overnight party taking tests and eating protein and taking more tests. It was to end with a pizza party which was probably my biggest hook. But still.... and then she says in that coyish voice and come hither look, "Sue will be there too." Sue was the one that had been flashing her behind at me all month now. At this point I hadn't even admitted to myself that I noticed, I was still in mourning. All these enticements and my conditioning to cooperate with a Lady overcame my resistance and I agreed though muttering to myself about fasting for a week. If you can feel any empathy with a teenage boy, you will understand.

Turns out fasting for a week is the perfect setup for hypnotic brainwashing. So is the euphoria after that first meal so it can be a one, two punch. The burden of the trauma and even the guilt could have been the knockout where it not also for technology and a "mickey finn".

Questions arise I can't answer. Was I so trancy the girls noticed or was it the single attractive biology teacher that snagged one of my classmates ten years her junior??? Come to think of it, that makes more sense. I kept the lab open for parent teachers night and an attractive younger girl showed up with a sample jar and wanted a "Sample". Now just what type of sample do you think that was??? I was clueless. I of course supposed that she wanted a urine sample and could not imagine why with all the students in her lab, that she wanted a sample from me in another wing of the school. I said look, it is too small and we don't have a toilet and if I get get going, I am too full to stop.... Boy, did that bring a shock to her face, then a puzzled look and then she burst out laughing. No silly Miss (YY) wants a sperm sample. I felt an immediate urge to protect my crotch. "Do What!!!" I screamed loud enough to be heard clear across campus so I later learned.

I didn't have enough time to be totally flustered, a dumb, dumb, dumb friend named Gary offered his sample. Anyway the point being Miss (YY) may have set this whole thing up. She did end up enslaving, dominating and marrying a classmate of mine. All legal, she even put him through college. Well Antoinette was going to do the same for me so its not like POSs such as Sutton that think it fine for a 35 year-old cougar to take and destroy the life of a 19 year-old boy. A good Master-ess always places the needs of the slave first even when they usually don't know!

I starve for a week anticipating a good pizza party. I have never been to a party. Hey, I was owned by the most beautiful soon to be my Wife and Mistress in the World.

I ride the fourteen miles from school on my motorcycle  dropping my books off on the way and pull into the drive, over and out of the way. I get off my bike and note the fuel tank is cold and the two stroke exhaust is starting to crackle and pop as it heats up. I thought it seems odd about the few number of cars. I am the only Junior and owned a motorcycle, there should have been more cars. We were supposed to be a group of four boys and four girls with the boys sleeping in the guest house. It was supposed to be chaperoned. My parents would not have agreed, My instructor would not have asked and believe it or not, I would not have gone.

I have a distinct memory of arriving, parking, hearing the protests of my exhaust popping from the heat and then using the brass knocker to knock on the door with it finally opening. I then remember being about to knock, it opening before I could and being told, that as a question "didn't I get the message," her dad had decided "no boys." I was confused. I had just been starved and now felt sick. I walked back to my bike and now there was another car but one was gone. I noticed my tank was hot but my exhaust had quit popping. It took three kicks to start. It always only took one when it was hot. On the way back I noticed it seem to be an hour or two earlier. I couldn't find my watch. I was feeling bad. By the time I got home I was feeling tired, miserable and sick. Just about the way my parents were expecting so they didn't notice anything unusual. See, I thought it was still Friday late afternoon. It was Saturday and I was missing at least 22 hours.

For years that haunted me. I had two memories of the same event, radically different memories with a Prom Date, another marriage proposal and a summer of more enslavement....

Antoinette Saga

Hold it a moment! I know I need to move along yet I feel if a reader doesn't understand how I felt they won't get this. I have been told my experience excites people and that is not my intent. I don't believe a male should flop down, pull a female on top and say "I surrender." Although... I don't find that entirely unappealing! I also can see the obverse of a Wife pulling her husband down and clamping a leg iron on and tell him he is not going out with the boys until he has sent her to heaven a couple of times first.

I mentioned I knew and hypnotized some well known hypnodommes and they tried to pull domination on me. A couple of them conspired to make me a full time slave Dom (does that make sense???). Of course sense and female are often an oxymoronic concept. But I did understand and here is creation again. Men and women.... uh should I have started the sentence with Women and men, are meant to be friends allies and lovers. It's biological but it is the only way all of biology and spirituality come together. The rest is lust.

It is natural for the wfe to dominate her husband at sometimes and some places (not all). It is natural for the husband to submit to his wife sometimes and some places. I had a bossy female doctor and surgeon once, I never want to see her again. I have said "yes m'am" to Lady nurses though I don't take orders very well. God didn't give a helpmate or servant to man, he gave a companion and help meet. The implication is a tripod where man is a side, woman is a side and God holds them both. Only in the true union of husband and wife do they become complete and of the one flesh ADAM once was. If either cannot accept this then they must overcome their carnal nature.

Women give birth and nurture us all of our lives. We grow strong and we lead them in safety and security. In this time where the deck is stacked against men and sodomites use affirmative action, scholarships, politics and HR services to weaken men and make them powerless and effeminate, women must be sure they are not used for that purpose. I lay this at the door of women because often they have been left off the hook, allowed to desire power over men without the responsibility or fidelity. In other words women have become the subjects to that which they claim to detest most in men, lying, cheating and infidelity.

Funny thing is most Dommes do not want effeminate men in their lives and certainly not in their sons. I asked because I knew the power that was held over me as a boy and a young man. Part of why I am writing now. None of these gals used hypnosis to control their sons. Some where tempted with their daughter they said.

I would ask these dommes about their sons, almost to a one, they would "kill" a girl taking the advantage of their sons as in the manner of illusion and fantasy they try to convey. So from a young age we are at the mercy of our female kin but because of their healthy subconscious and hopefully spiritual minds, we find safety in their arms as their precious property. I am sure part of our male ID wants to return there at times.

Men are made to please and serve. Our service is first to God and as part of that service,it is our nature to serve and please our women. Often times that leaves them stamping their feet and pouting as we are tasked in doing what is best for them and the union we have with them. I have loved to leave women in such a foot stomping state because I know I have done what's right. I have even offered to bend a few over my knee. I would have to do that even if I were locked in some electric chastity. A man's burden is not always easy but no reason it can't often be delightful.

I was born to dominate and still am dominant. I like to metaphorize that as a Stallion. Women like to own stallions, they like to ride them, direct them, guide them, train them and condition them BUT! every woman needs to know she cannot control him. The moment she is over confident and abuses (usurps her authority) is the moment he teaches her a new lesson of his own.

My grandmother would order me to take a nap. I didn't want to and really couldn't. I was conditioned to obey the parental role but there was a deep schism. One day, a friend of mine who was tired of me being taken away for a nap in the middle of the best play time, told me I should refuse and sass my grandmother. He said that would make her stop. I was reluctant, I had never disobeyed in my life and never ever sassed someone I loved....

It broke my grandmother's heart and mine too. Did she know what power this other woman had given her little girl? Did the women joke about the ten year-old boy being his six year-old sister's slave and someone decide that was just what I needed? It was a solution to his mean bullying but I saw her order him around and even now he doesn't know why or he is not telling. He is not telling that if he did not mind her, she could make him drop what he was doing and go to bed. In our last conversation, he did mention being resentful of his mom. Oh how many times they would come to visit and he would forget himself and I would find him on the couch sleeping. I didn't understand that at all. Now I do! It seems now, mothers are teaching sisters to kick their brother's in the balls. And unfortunately the girls are all too eager. I guess I would rather be compelled to take a nap instead. I know my sister would like that too!

So.... recap, I am four, a tragedy takes Mom and Dad away for several months and I am deeply traumatized. If you have a mental health background and/or sufficiently trained in hypnosis, you know what that means and if you don't, then you don't have the skill sets to deal with that part any further. I disassociated I am sure, even though now I can't fully reconcile or re-associate it all. I am also sure my grandmother was traumatized and my hyperactivity because I couldn't deal with the situation, made it even worse for her. She is offered the help and a return favor to take in a little girl that has seen her mom pacify her older brother by sleepnosis. This little girl has learned how his trigger was implanted and used it herself to make him mind or sleep. Now it was my turn and she did it very well. I am not sure how long she had to keep up the daily inductions, I don't know just when she had achieved rapport and implanted a trigger. I do know, two years later I found myself having to obey rather than sleeping. I had to admit I was going to be hers for life, to her friends and they giggling and thinking her control over me was "marvelous...." I remember there was nothing I could do but stand there helplessly as the entertainment for these "older women". I also remember it was not ridicule but admiration in their eyes so somehow I felt a little pride in being owned. With nearly two years of deep two hour daily hypnotic conditioning, I mean really, what chance did a man have even if he was only six years old by that time?...

That is how I became a slave to Hypnotic FemDom, unwillingly, kicking and screaming all the way. I had to accept my grandmother's authority and responsibility over me. She made me assume the "nap" position and then my little master-ess took over and took me under. Months and months of hypnotic conditioning passed off as naps. My assertiveness got me taken down more than a notch or two. I wound up being a slave. Oh, not that you would notice it except for my aggressive desire to please some Ladies. 80)

Age 17, Locked in Hypnotic Chastity and no Mistress! I want to emphasise that I didn't even notice! I was heartbroken over the one true LOVE I ever had being taken from this world at its great loss. I lost the will to live. I wasn't going to stop and though not rudderless, my drive was gone. I felt so empty and purposeless. She had claimed me when I was age four and made me promise to marry her when I was age six. She loved to make me repeat that vow in front of her friends everytime we were together. You know, it was really weird, I was embarrassed to say it but yet, happy about it. I was under her compulsion, I knew what I was doing. I certainly would not have done it if I could have stopped myself. I simply had to obey her and thoroughly humiliated that she could make me do this. I loved her and I needed to obey her in spite of myself. My need and desire to please her overwhelmed me and I could not resist. However, everything I said was true and I wanted it with every ounce of my being. I knew it meant her control over me would grow even stronger no matter how hard I tried to fight it. Maybe, just maybe, that is how it should be with the right Lady.

That is how long term conditioning hypnosis can be. There is more to it but I am not handing this power to just anybody. If a six year-old girl can wield (well initiate) it then I can only be thankful she wanted a girl's fantasy marriage. Unfortunately I haven't a Lady today that feels this way. If there is one, I am reachable, even obtainable.

With my owner, my lady, my LOVE gone, I was in no condition to test her post hypnotic suggestions that kept me loyal, true and chaste. I would like to say I am still a Virgin of my own accord, well actually I would like to say and hope I still am. I would be sure but there I was lost and unbeknownst to me, greedy, hungry eyes were watching. They were eyes of four young cougars, seniors in high school....

Locked!  Locked in Hypnotic Chastity and...........what??? You still expecting porn? You do not understand FemDom. Real FemDom is about as close to enforced Christianity or Judaism or any of all the other 'isms that espouse a better man. Like each, it has been corrupted by sodomites leading silly women astray. Since I posted the mention of AboutFLR I wanted to see if my post or my Email to them had created a change. I was hoping a change for the better. No, under step 5 of a six step transformation of the male, a (I can't call her a lady) woman is supposed to take actions to feminized her man (no longer husband) by use of chastity and male porn and male on male sodomy to wind up with a homosexually conditioned cuckold.

Gimme a break!!! Actually that is what they want to do, break us. You don't really believe REAL Women want this? It is just catering to some anti-family, anti-Christian lesbian or sodomitic fantasy. I am curious about FLM, I hear it is about better marriages, of women taking an active stand against the corrupting influence of sports, drugs, gambling and porn. I don't need a leash but I did get chosen most unwillingly. I love women. good women, Ladies that take a hold of that rightful leash, marriage and drag it in the right direction. Marriage is a mutual bond. It is not a contract of equality or falsely perceived freedom, it is a bond of mutual enslavement and a Lady has the right to enforce it, so does the husband but our female dominated society would have you believe it is the man that more often breaks his vow....

So, when I see websites like Elise Sutton's, About FLR and its partner web site, She makes the rules (which makes no bones about being anti-Christian as noted in a post by the "QueenBee") promising better men, no porn and tout how they are superior female, non-porn websites, well I get angry. I promise you each is in league with the devil and each promotes infidelity and sodomy (including lesbianism) and each has pornographic language and content. I keep looking for positive supportive sites but just like any reading, once they cross the line into trash, I put the book down. I have actually tossed them into the steepest deepest canyon to let the weather erode the pages back to the humus they characterize.

You know, the ideal of a little gal you really can trust you life and soul to, is really appealing. Sometimes when the mere appearance of what you are doing is in her eyes like an incomplete painting seen by the artist, she sees and adds a little correction and a few more brush strokes for perfection, I find that delightful to know a genuine Lady, genuinely cares....

Unfortunately forgetting the lesson of Eve and usurping the authority given her over her man, too many women listen to the serpent's beguiling words coming from those "non-porn" sites I mention.

An Epiphany! Reflecting on FemDom Hypnosis.... Obviously I have spent years searching for answers and as I mentioned, I have often been asked about hypnosis and how it feels to be hypnotized. After I typed in the text reflecting upon certain events and emotions connected to them I realized some things I had known for awhile but not put into words. Its like my words freed some memories and why a once famous HypnoDomme encouraged me to write them down.

As a matter of professional courtesy she tried to "take" me. Many of the hypnotic ladies have because they expected I would appreciate it and well, other men paid them quite handsomely. I suspect most men do so as an adventure to see if they can be enslaved and perhaps even think they were just playing (and paying) along. These women are not going to these men, the men are coming to them. Some get trapped leading to a wise and favorite saying these gals have, "Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it."

I always wanted to be a good husband, a kind and caring father of many children and head of a loyal faithful christian household. I want a wife that owns me through the bonds of matrimony (literally, woman's possession) and uses her natural feminine charms to tame the tiger within me. This was something these hypnotic females could not supply so they had very little to hold me with. It hurt some of them that they didn't have the ability to keep me as a subject. The few that could hypnotize me said I was the best subject they ever had but then they found they couldn't push me. I have developed an ability to guide myself. I am Immune Now! Well actually I am immune to all but the right Lady. I haven't met her yet.... Maybe she is reading this now!

This leads me back to Antoinette. Oh by the way, the version of the story I mention in an earlier post is a very poor working draft. I guess when the site owner changed hosts he lost the finished version. That site has gotten so ugly and morally decrepit I have not been inclined to correct it.

When I finally learned how Antoinette had taken control over me by hypnotic conditioning over a long period of time, I was very angry. It seemed so unfair but then I reflected on the why of it and perhaps she felt she had no choice. It even kind of irked me to realize, it was actually for my own good. Ooh, "my own good," a trigger word usually used when it actually means surrender is better than futile struggle. I was pissed and irked, hurt and angry. Part of the anger was that I was owned without ever being asked. That in one point in time, there was a girl a foot shorter and eighty pounds lighter that could make this defensive tackle bend down, kiss her feet, promise to marry her and obey her for the rest of his life, my life. Did I love her or did she guide me to that conclusion?

It doesn't matter. I decided she loved me and everything she did proved to me that the desire to do right and be right motivated it all. I decided women were indeed meant to own their men and make the men love them. That was the way it was meant from Eve to now. Adam had no choice, imagine how hard that would have been if Eve did not have the ability to make him love her. If only she had used her power over him more wisely. Of course had Eve not usurped her authority over Adam we would not be here.

No its for a man's betterment, women to have the right to make men love them. Does it matter if she appeals to their carnal nature and uses make-up and intoxicating perfurme? Why is that which is meant to be carnal is somehow more acceptable than bypassing his lust with hypnosis and keeping his carnal nature under her control? Of course all the more reason I look for a righteous lady and she can hypnotize me all she wants....

So my hypnosis was for my own good, and I quit hating and started obeying. There was a danger in that, but not with her. My anger past I accepted the fact the she did and women can by their very nature, make us love them in a way deeper than the carnal. We need to grow as good and spiritual mates, joined not only in body but of one mind and one soul obedient to the will of GOD as was ADAM when he was both Adam and Eve. That depth of union can only occur between believing, obedient man and woman, as husband and wife.

In the last few years shortly after my first post, I had a chance to talk to her mom. I was chosen by them at a young age with the intent to groom me as her husband. Her own dad was brutal at times and her brother was becoming even worse. The mom knew I was in a christian family growing away from any kinship and fellowship with them. Maybe it was for pacification of men they turned to hypnosis but I believe the reason I was subjected to it was to save her daughter. All these years and she knew her daughter had owned me from a child to a young adult man. I was Antoinettes too, all we needed was the marriage and its consummation. I would be freed from her hypnotic chastity and welcomely locked in her enchanted fidelity as a Christian man should be. A man is the woman's head but he also must always remember he his also hers just as much and that she indeed does have power and authority over him in the appointed times and places. More about that later....

By the age of six she could make her ten year-old bully of a brother leave her and her friends alone. He was terrified of her and I am pretty sure now he never knew exactly why. Based on both what each of them told me and his mom hinted around at and spilled some, I gather the mom learned hypnosis to protect herself from her husband. Then seeing her son who was as tall as she by the time he was ten, took matters into her own hands. I have no doubt the son was hypnotized and probably the dad. I see no sign of behavior modification, only forced, induced sleep. they were pacified by enforced sleep. That caused its own problems. The son was under his sister's sleep commands so much he was getting out of shape and probably eating his aggression. He was terrified but loved his sister and didn't understand her control over him. His aggression grew worse because the only control was his pacification by enforced sleep. His terror of his little sister was subconcious and irrational. It was time to stop that and my need opened new avenues.

Not too long ago her brother complained to me about his daughter. He told me she was drugging him but couldn't figure out how. He thought she was stealing his whiskey and taking money out of his wallet. He was terrified of her but loved her. He said she would unlock his door and come in without knocking. That they would have a fight and everything would get hazy. He knew she was doing things and going through stuff but he couldn't do anything about it, he just laid in his recliner and drifted in and out of consciousness and not waken until she said "bye" and locked the door behind her. He told me how he would take precautions not to eat and drink while she was there and yet he could not keep her from drugging him.

My epiphany! His sister died before his daughter was born, so either women know this naturally or his own mom taught his own daughter how to deal with his rage. I hope she was dumping his whiskey and taking his money to keep him safe and solvent. Here is a difficult man's own daughter using hypnosis to take care of him. He changed the door locks to keep her out.... Sleepnosis can work to pacify the biggest and meanest of men but only as long as he keeps coming and not running. It keeps them, us, ever wondering and fearing the power a woman has over them. I realize that Antoinette went deeper than sleepnosis with me. For awhile I hated her for the unwelcomed power she had over me and it was years later before I could connect the dots. Yet I remember the change in me. I ceased hating her and even her power over me, I accepted it and her, nay, I embraced it, wanted it and even needed, need it. Now I wish she and her control over me (for my own good) was still here.... I am a man that keeps and saves the world, I need a woman that keeps and saves me.